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Beata Szoboszlai

Winter is coming

Change is inevitable when we accept our limits


Picture: view from Niue with wild roosters and Misty in the background


It’s around end of May beginning of June 2023. On the Northern Hemisphere it means start of the summer. On the Southern Hemisphere it means start of winter.

Where I am right now – Niue – it means lots of rain and “chilly” nights – 20°C – so everyone was panicking about finding the jumpers and blankets on their boats.

It’s great to have some break from the heat.


Picture: location of Niue on the map


Niue is one of the smallest self-governing countries in the world which consist of one single island. Its population is between 1600-2200 depending on who you ask.

People here live and easy islander life which is safe, clean and slow. It’s strictly forbidden to do any kind of work on Sundays and the whole island goes quite.


They have “wild” chickens running around everywhere as there is no natural predator which would kill them, only humans, which they obviously when they run out of meat.


As most of the Polynesian Islands, they are really proud of their rugby team. We met the players at the Rugby Club which on Saturdays operates as a disco. To be honest, somehow, I had a strange feeling of not being welcomed by the local ladies as much as we were by the local gents. Maybe it was just in my head.


In the guidebook, they proudly talk about the fact that there is almost no crime, drug use or graffiti in their country. Graffiti!


I am sure if they would go to Hackney Wick in London, they would reconsider putting graffiti into the same category with crime.


Picture: graffiti in Hackney Wick, London



A few weeks ago, I have decided to leave Misty after we arrive to Australia. I will try to get on another boat or – in case it’s not possible – travel on land for some time in this part of the world. Whichever will happen, I will need to make sure to have a break and reflect. An important chapter will be over soon which consisted not just sailing from UK to Australia via the Atlantic and Pacific Ocean, but also preparing for two years for this lifetime adventure. So many lessons learned, and conclusion made that I need to internalize.


Deciding to leave Misty was a much more difficult decision than joining but the worst decision is no decision.


I had been struggling lately. It was difficult to find fulfilment, see and experience beauty in anything as I felt I have nobody to share it with. Things I have accepted and tolerated before just grew on me and made me anxious and unhappy like hair in my food, the smell of the morning poop of the crew, hot drinking water, damp and smelly clothes and bedding, lack of sleep, lack of fresh food and shower and so on.


These things are not new. Being out of my comfort zone was always part of the everyday life on Misty but I guess I reached my limits.


Moreover, I have still problems with my ear since the diving training in Tahiti and started to get scared when we are sailing in heavy weather.


So what’s next?

Still need to sail to Fiji which is a much bigger island then any of the previous places we went to, so I am sure there are plenty of things to see and do.


After Fiji we will go to Vanuatu and Australia via the Great Barrier Reef. We should arrive to Mackay (port in Australia) in late July.


When I was imagining the difficulties and challenges of living on a sailing boat for eighteen months, I didn’t consider the periods of not sailing which is almost one third of the whole passage.


It’s a tiny space where you just need to compromise on everything all the time which have become more and more difficult, so change is inevitable.

A change that I am excited about and makes me feel curious and alive again but my first priority is to do everything I can to enjoy my last two months where I am.


Picture: the Pacific Ocean and me


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2 Comments


vivrose
May 30, 2023

You write so well about the way you feel about the life you’re living at the moment. Few people can explain their situation, feelings and emotions so well. You show a lot of positivity too.

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Beata Szoboszlai
Jun 14, 2023
Replying to

Hi Vivrose! I am so glad you reading and enjoying my blog. I have been thinking a lot about how to express emotion but stay also kind of factual in the same time. I guess I am still finding my writing style. Appreciate the feedback! Take care!

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